MY FREEDOM WINGS

Each and every morning came earlier than the one before and was more difficult with each sunrise, at least on the days I had to get up for work.  The weekends were a breeze and were gone way too quickly.  I loved working at one time but the last few years were defeating as I felt my contributions were devalued.

Late 2014, when gas prices started to fall and a merger of the number two and three energy services companies was announced in the headlines; I realized, ready or not, my days were numbered.  I wasn't exactly financially ready but I was going to be okay.  I was; however, more than ready to get on with my life and do something different.  I really didn't know what I would or could do but I did feel confident that in no time at all I would figure it out.

Somehow, I just knew the very morning as I dressed that I was not going to have a job by the end of that day and chose my outfit as if it was the last time I would get dressed for work, in the traditional sense.   My gut feeling was dead on.

My number was called only moments after arriving to my cube.  I hadn't even sat down and my phone was ringing.  I got the call!  I asked to be put on the list but truth be known, I WAS on the LIST!   Although I did run to the Human Resource department as fast as I could, hugging everyone I saw along the way and cheerfully waving goodbye to anyone I passed as I was escorted off the property, my knees were shaking uncontrollably.  This was it... my freedom!

After a couple of decades in the corporate world and seriously looking for a way out, I took some time to do some soul searching.  After all, I manifested a working life that I felt I really wanted so why could I not manifest something more enjoyable and pleasurable for myself?

I had planned to do a few things that I would not otherwise have been able to do.  These few things were very important to me and I needed about three total months of down time for them.  I had no idea how I could afford to take the time off as a single parent of a young child, let alone care for another during the process.  All of the sudden, without truly knowing how I could do it, everything fell perfectly into place starting with the lay off.  The timing could not have been more perfect and I was also afforded the best of the best and that was to spend one full summer with my little one before she was too grown to want to spend it with me.

I wanted to remember this time forever so I bought myself a necklace from James Avery.  It's a symbol of my choice and manifestations; a heart with wings - my freedom wings!  I wear it always.

So, when I said everything fell perfectly into place, I didn't actually realize all the energies that had appeared to make my dream a reality.  Only in hindsight is this now evident.  The right people came into my world and participated in my production.  Income in the amount that I needed was provided.  All the "important to me" things I wanted to do for my big five-oh magically arranged themselves for my pleasure.  I couldn't have dreamed it better.  I am most grateful for each and every aspect and how perfect my world had been.  And then, my time was up.  Poof!

Just like I said it would happen...  On such and such day, my self-imposed deadline had arrived.  I was a little closer to figuring out what I wanted to do for income to support us but had not yet taken the actions required.

I have been through some amazing tests since.  I know with all certainty that I do not want to work a traditional job and work a traditional schedule and live a traditional life.  It's not me, not my calling.  In my dire need to locate income, I applied for 1001 jobs that I did not want.  My back went out making it impossible for me to continue my on-line campaign for work.  The only responses that I received for employment were for part-time gigs with low pay that would not lend to supporting us and were not in alignment with my dream work life.  I did accept a commission only sales position that felt in alignment with my over all goal; however.  It's all up to me to make my day.  Make my life what I want it to be.

After spending the last of my savings helping two forces in my life, not knowing where my next meal would come, I eradicated these people from my world, cutting them out entirely while understanding their true role.  The truth is I had to be hardened a little bit so that I could accept pay for my efforts.  As they took from me, I lost my personal power.  I gave it away.  I left myself in a harmful position for another.  I not only left myself in a vulnerable state but I risked my ability to support my child and maintain my own property.  I needed to be backed into a corner so that I would come out fighting for what mattered.  What mattered then and now is my ability to call my shots and make a living for myself and my child.  What mattered is that I no longer accept being devalued and taken for granted by those that do not have my best interest in mind.

Even in my trials, I managed to do my best with following my heart as it was breaking into pieces.  I have not given up on my dreams nor have I detoured.  I simply have not yet found a way to make my dreams fund my lifestyle and support us but I do have an enormous amount of faith.

It's not the norm to always know what you want and how to do it so being gentle with ourselves during such times is key.  Spending time in contemplation or solitude can bring about creative answers, inspirations and guidance.  Having unwavering belief in all that is possible, remaining focused and staying the course no matter the distraction, all with a gratuitous presence brings about magnificent possibilities and manifests our dreams.  This, I BELIEVE!   So here's to FREEDOM WINGS!  

Cheers!

THE LIST - continued

As my journey with the list has developed, the recipe has changed.  Below is the recipe that has brought about amazing success for those that have used it.

There is absolute value in the list of one-liners.  Brainstorm and write your list.  Get it all out there.  There may be several items that are similar and if so, group them because it will strengthen your next step.  

After grouping the like items.  Pick the top 10 most important items from the list.  This will assist when writing out your intention phrases.  Like any writing project, the first step of brainstorming and then second, organizing helps to develop your dream lover or partner.  

Before we go any further, there are a few little things that I feel need to be mentioned:

• Review your list for any negative words.  Do not use:  Not, No, Don't, etc..  Imagine the Universe has no negativity and ignores such words.  You may end up with the opposite of what you ask for...  
• Also, words like "potential" should be avoided at all costs.  We all have potential but that isn't a realized trait.  If you want success, ask for it and define what that means for you.  If you want marriage or commitment - spell it out.  
• If you want your lover to be of the opposite sex, be specific about that too.  Age, gender and race - if these are an issue for you, add them.  Be kind, be open, be specific.   We live in an abundant Universe and we can have all that we want in life but with people that we draw into our lives, we bring all of them in.  Be very specific and spend the time up front understanding your intentions.  
• Time...  there is no time constraints in the Universe either which I am sure others can logically debate and I would gladly defer to their statements; however, it has been my experience that often times, someone is already there and you just do not know it yet.   It does take time to get  the intention into the Universal Consciousness and I really don't know what that is but if you want it NOW, express it.  The affirmation process will help with this as it is in the present tense.  
• Be aware that you have no absolute control over anyone and free will always wins so make this about you and what you want.  Be open and know you, too, have free will.  The ability to be open and receive as well as well as reject.  More than one will likely receive your message.  More than one will likely present themselves.  It's your job to be discerning.  

So here goes...

Using the keys below to unlock the possibilities has changed my world and the world of those around me that have given this a try.  

• Affirmation;
• Feeling;
• Create the scenario for both parties - what he gets, what you get;
• Gratitude.

Affirmations are statements in the positive that are as if they are already true.  

Stating the feeling while using creative visualization can bring about an emotion.  Capture the emotion and express it. 

Describe what it is like for each of you and how the interaction benefits both parties.  

And with all things, being in a state of gratitude for all that is and will be.  This creates the openness and allowing and releases your intention to the higher powers or Universal Consciousness.  

Below is an example of how I used this technique.  

Dear Universe,

Thank you for the most amazingly kind and gentle man in my life.  He is sweet and attentive to my needs.  It feels amazing to be embraced with such love.  I adore him as much as he adores me and we both let one another know they are important, wanted and needed.  I know it is because of you and I thank you!  So it is.

Repeat for each item or groups of items on your list.  I am happy to assist with edits or clarifications. 

After you have your list; read and edit it until you are certain.  Once you are, place it someplace you can find if you need to do so in a pinch but not a place you look so often that you may obsess about it.  I generally place my list in my lingerie drawer and when I need to review it, it's right there with the things that make me feel sexy and attractive.  Seems fitting to me.  

More examples to follow!

Love and Light...   and I sure do want to hear about your successes!  I will share some, too!  

THE NEXT VINE IS WAITING FOR YOU

Everyone has a story.  Some are more comical; others more dramatic.  Whether good, bad, happy or sad we all have a past.  This past plays a part in who we are today yet is this who you want to be or the way you see your life should be?

This entry is for those that are feeling like life is lacking.  Maybe you are at crossroads with a life choice, in a stagnant relationship or simply unmotivated but not exactly certain why that is.

Different things hold us back from realizing our true and authentic selves yet that is where the pleasure in life resides, in my opinion.  Living in our own design, designed by self love and acceptance is a journey.  

The biggest inhibitor to our spiritual selves is conforming to meet the expectations of others and if you think about it, everyone has expectations of others in our society.  "Expectation" is an overused word, tossed around entirely too much and promotes entitlement by the ones that use it - at least, this is my new perspective and YES, guilty as charged.  Being from a Corporate environment, this word is used to the point of abuse and more likely why so many do not make it out of the workforce alive.  

Just the same, no matter the issue or the reason we have for where we find ourselves at times in our lives, if we are to analyze our situation, we may find we simply detoured.  It could be we fell in love, had children, accepted some role in life - possibly for survival.  

Many live in their past or relive their past repeatedly.  Some might say they have yet to learn their lesson and there is divinity in that too.  It could also be that there is an internal search for a missed opportunity.  Either way, it is not possible to gain momentum when you spend your life back tracking.  This is the surest way to finding yourself in a rut or living with regrets.

To gain momentum, create an intention and take action.  No matter how simple the first step is, take it.  Get your intention from your head to your heart and let it flow.  The Universe is here to support each and everyone of us in the most amazing of ways.  The art is in the way the Universe chooses to bring about our design.  It is important to note that we do not have a say in how things happen for us as much as the end result is the intended outcome.  Fear not, as the greater plan as I see it is a Universal Consciousness of collective thoughts and ideas created by each one of us.

We are all connected so it serves no one to hold on to the past for our lives are developing on a daily basis.  People are presented to us for various reasons of our asking and permitting.  We invite others into our lives with our intentions.  They stay as they intended.  When it's their time to go or our choice, we all have a duty to let go.  The duty is for them as well as for us.

**********************************

Some time ago now, I was having a lunch with a friend, that invited a new friend to join us while his old friend, also a friend of mine sat in the same place they had all frequented together previously.  As one might imagine the discomfort I might have felt.  The only barrier between all the glances back and forth between all three of them was me and a glass wall.

Most happy for the newly enchanted couple but feeling a bit displaced because I sensed behind me was someone that needed something else.  I had been there before, watching my old friend with an old friend, being new friends.  It was most unpleasant and uncomfortable but I sat through the pain and awkwardness of it and came out the other end a much better and loving person, friend and companion as a result.  Leaving the newly enchanted couple for a few minutes to chat with the old friend briefly was an unexpected move on my part but I could not resist the calling.  I am glad I took the few steps to spend a few talking to the old friend, that was sitting alone.

She was about to make a decision, or maybe she had but it had not yet quite sunk in at the moment.  Her life was about to take her on an amazing journey but she was still holding on to what had already departed, if only in a sense.  The amazing journey required not only letting go of what had already departed but everything she ever had acquired and worked for previously.  She was to leave the very place her roots had been firmly planted, leaving her friends and everything she coveted for a new experience but the fear of the unknown kept her holding on to the past.

For me, what I saw was that she had intended this new adventure in her minds eye and she could sense the excitement ahead but it required her to let go of her past to be able to move forward.  She is one of those that has the strength and endurance to handle such a change that many do not even try to conceive.  Yet, there she was, only one thing holding her back to her past was that vine.  All she had to do was catch the vine swinging her way and let go of the one she was on.  That is what I saw for her and we spoke a few minutes and then embraced before I walked back to the enchanted couple.

This entire situation was most healing for me and only the parties involved could possibly understand the dynamics of the experience.  Every time I feel myself back-tracking or making excuses not to move forward in life or love, I think back to the day I had lunch with my ex, his ex and his new love.  Seeing his ex-wife cling to a new vine and embrace a new life in another world was most empowering.  She is very glad she made the trip.  He and his new love, are the best of friends and I am so pleased to see him smile and light up like he does when the enchanted couple are together.  It's all he ever really wanted was an everlasting love, and it will be as intended.  As for me, I am simply head over heels in love with life!  

PERFECT AS IS...

It happens to all of us.  We judge others, they judge us, and then we pick ourselves apart, too.  Sure there is room for self-improvement.  Sure we will make mistakes.  Others will have their opinions of our actions, choices and so forth.  Who cares?  Well, of course we care.  Some of us care more that others and some of us care at times, but should we?

Hell NO!  That's what I say now!  Today, that is... tomorrow, I may forget temporarily but for the most part, I do believe:

Just this morning I was reading the news feed on FB and there it was... the "I am so not worthy because my last relationship failed".  I see this type of post over and over and I truly can empathize as I have had those same thoughts in the past.  Overcoming is another story; however.

Depending on the life situation, generally, failed relationships; I have found personal peace in finding myself.  The moment those clouds start to hover over me, or the moment I actually realize that the clouds are hovering (more realistic) I take a moment.  I stop.  I stop thinking about whatever it is, whomever it is and all the garbage we have a tendency to create in our own minds and redirect.  I redirect my thoughts to something that changes my energy.  The energy shift is most important and empowering thing you can do for yourself.  At least, that is how I choose to believe and it works.

When your energy is low it will attract more low.  When your vibration is high, the energy you attract is of a higher good.   It has taken me plenty of practice to learn to shift the energy but the reality of it is simply changing the thought which, quite honestly, is very basic and simple.  Maybe those posts on FB are really an attempt to glean support and empathy, or really to get help in shifting the energy or thought process.  At least, this is my guess based on the people in my network that make such posts.  They are amazing people that have had something defeating happen to them, just like I have.

Each and everyone of us come completely equipped to run our lives in a successful way.  We each have within us all we need to survive this crazy world we live in.  We each have the ability to change our directions and/or our paths.  We are cognitive and creative beings that are fallible and we simply lose touch with our authenticity and look outside of ourselves for answers.   Although collaboration is beneficial and often times helps us, it's the internal that is truest.  We are so ever complicated and tapping within eludes us much of the time.

Negative self-talk is one of the most harmful things we can do to ourselves.  What is wrong with being kind to yourself?  What is wrong with tapping into the innate and creating the most amazing dreamlike life for yourself?  What is wrong with being who you are today, as is, no pretending, let the world see you shine from the inside?  What is wrong with self-love and appreciation?  It is when we are in our divine that we can open up authentically and be the person we need to be which brings about all that we ever wanted, needed or desired.  All is perfect from the point of love; self-love.  And each one of us today have the ability to look within and love us for who we are, presently, today and accept that we are at our best when we are authentic.

From the authentic we can tap into what we need to do to move forward with our lives.

Sometimes, I have to remind myself:

No doubt I had my share of relationship drama and defeats.  Who hasn't?

I will never forget the day I had to be peeled off my sheets after being face down in a fit of tears and the people that held me up, and talked be through the pain until I could feel the warm sun glow on my face and laugh out loud, and eventually learning how to dance  in the rain.  I cherish the moments that I was completely lost but learned to embrace and celebrate the life I created as I climbed out of the deepest of depressions to find a world out there that accepts me as I am, far from perfect but perfectly happy.  And to those that don't like it.... all I have to say, is that is none of my concern!

EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US IS PERFECT AS IS and deserving of living a dream filled life!

To those that are hurting today, there are many more tomorrows under a rainbow of self-love waiting for you.  Get UP!  Your life is waiting for you....

As for everyone else; tell them to:  Mind your own biscuits and life will be gravy!  I love that Kasey Musgraves song called Biscuits!

THE LIST

A time has been presented for each one of us that a list was in order.   A list is a way to organize your thoughts, ideas and priorities.  A way to de-clutter the the brain or like I prefer to call it, a data dump.  With a list, it is easier to see what matters most and least; prioritizing.

There are many uses for lists and then it occurred to me during an esoteric workshop that if I can write a master list for my life, then why not a new lover?

In this workshop we are doing something like writing a list but mostly we were creating a sculpture while tapping into the minds eye about what we wanted in a dream lover.  As all the participants in the class were women, as one might suspect, it was a class for conjuring up a man!  

So there I was in this class with well known Astrologer, Marva Mason, teaching us about how to draw in to us what we each wanted in a man and how after the next full moon, or when our clay sculpture dissolved after we took him home and placed him in a bowl of water, our dream man would enter our lives.  

So my man was sculpted, lounging as if looking into the stars wondering where I was.  He was lying on his back with his arms folded and hands behind his head gazing upward.  This long and sexy legs were crossed in a leisurely way.  He was only wearing jeans and was built (again in my minds eye as I do not possess sculpting techniques)  in a way that could handle any physical feat thrown his way.  Then we had to carve words into our Prince Charming that reflected his qualities, the qualities we desired for our lover to have.  I don't recall the qualities for my Adonis but I do recall getting it and from there I decided to make a list for my ideal partner.  

A month later, my man had dissolved in a bowl of water and my list was drafted!  Four typed pages!  Single spaced; one-liners.  I listed everything I could imagine that I wanted in a partner.  I was very detailed on a few topics and wrote a paragraph on those topics that meant most to me at the tie.  I felt with complete certainty that the man I wrote about was coming into my life.  Guess what, he did!  Within 3-4 months, I had met my dream man for the first time and another month or so later, we connected and ultimately united.  It wasn't until later that I recalled my list I had put away and decided to go to read it, you know, just for grins and giggles.  

Upon reading my list I became a believer.  I wrote the type of jeans my man would wear, the color of his hair, his eyes, everything physical was in place.  I wrote about his family and how he interacted with them.  The fact he had children but they were grown, no longer living with him.  What he liked to do for fun, his hobbies and so forth... This man as far as I could see was the very man I conjured up.  I fell completely under the spell I created and so did he.  Sure enough, the deal was sealed, I received my gift from the Universe!

Upon our demise, I couldn't understand what could have possibly when wrong for us so I read the list again.  Let's just say you must be very specific with your list as the Universe has an amazing sense of humor and will bring about exactly what you ask for, to the iota, as in my case.  I learned that I included some ambiguous language.  

It took some soul searching before I would draft another list but I did and guess what?  The very same thing happened.  I created a shorter, more simplistic list and a more simplistic person entered my life and there was peace and harmony once more.  It was clear that I was completely in love with life until I wanted more.  More was not in the cards but I didn't specify that "more" had to be.  Again, my list, presented exactly what I asked for and it was amazing.  I learned yet another lesson about writing lists for love. 

After more reflection I realized that I had even dreamed a lover before and it had come to fruition and the more I thought about it, the more I realized I was bringing about what I thought about.  So I continued this practice.

The next list after much self-discovery brought another individual in my life.  Who the hell needs to do online dating (which is another story all together) when all you have to do is get a pad and pen and go to brainstorming?  Well, once more, and this time, I added a time frame and a final outcome.  Sure enough.  I didn't even have to go out, date or anything,  He came to me.  We had been acquainted but didn't know one another's status nor did we really see one another in the light that all of the sudden was now apparent.  It was absolutely crazy!  This happened fast and just the way I had drafted it to be.  I wrote 100 items on a list.  Some of these were shades of another and there were some things that were more important than others but 100 items and this man met the 95% mark of my dream man so he must be the one, right?  Well, what was the harm in the previous list of one-liners anyway, right?  We married 10/10/2010, which was my intended outcome (at least the intended outcome was to be married by the end of 2010 which was a challenge as it was already Spring when I did my list and I had yet to even meet or date my new man as of yet) and it was fast and furiously fun!  Seems the list really does work!  And it did but again we failed.  There was one vital element that I always overlooked on my list that I couldn't possibly live without.   The thing was I wasn't sure what it was exactly.  

Vowing not to create another list until I knew what I had been missing, I had met with a girl-friend over dinner one night.  She had been using my suggestions of a list and found her partner and was never more in love and I knew her partner first hand as he was a dear friend of mine that I had so much love and admiration.  In our talk, she mentioned "feeling".  She had to explain to be briefly her experience and suddenly, I understood.  

Feeling... Imagine that!  Yes!  That was the missing element...

“Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.” 

― Candace Bushnell, Sex and the City  

I gave this a great deal of thought and considered one additional aspect that was a take away from two other influences in my life; Crazy Mama from the Crazy Mama Celestial Emporium and my long term relationship councilor that claimed there was nothing wrong with me and I was not to return until I had a real problem to discuss,  This take away is an additional element, along with the feeling aspect, that has generated almost immediate results for myself and many others since with significant and powerful change in matters of the heart.

What I learned from my "experiments" was that I was looking for the qualities, values and morals that I possessed.  I wanted a like-minded individual or at least someone that I could be-friend and trust.  Someone that "got" me.  Someone accepting of me, mi vida loca and would enjoy embracing life in the same what that I did and wanted to continue doing.  I was listing for love but leaving out the "love" part of the list.  The part that gave the heart and soul the fuel to make it last.  Yet, I did know that once I did find what I ultimately wanted and needed, it would be ever-lasting.  Maybe, I just wasn't ready yet.  

To learn about those aspects, see my follow up posting on THE LIST.  

  

NEGATIVITY - It's a CHOICE

Of all the ways to start a blog, I never thought it would be with a topic that I dislike as much as negative energy.  The fact of the matter is that I noticed, although not immediately, I was being drug down by the negativity of others around me and then sending those same energies into the Universe myself.  This is not like me to be lost in negativity and for me to not notice sooner than just this past weekend, well - I let's just say, I had an EPIPHANY!  

How does this happen anyway; allowing negativity into our lives?

Well, it's simple.  I invited (inadvertently, of course) it into my life and allowed it to stay maybe as simply as opening the door as allowing a friend to vent and not sending the energy down the road with them when they left.  Energies, whether by invitation or otherwise, that we do not ask to leave will remain, so long as we allow.  We have to learn to "Shake it, shake it, shake it OFF!"

Negativity starts ever so subtly and without action to banish the energy, it can stick to you, flow through you and eventually consume you.  Negativity is a bitch; it breeds.

Understanding that negativity is real and is a disease which we deserve protection is the first step to fight the beast.  Awareness, is the first step in all things we desire to change and protecting ourselves is a close second, in my mind.  With this, it came to me that this is the perfect subject to start this blog as the topics coming up are all about bringing about change and shifting our energies to get what we truly want into our lives.

We all have our lessons.  I am here to tell you that it's only a shift in thought that can make a huge impact in our outcomes.  A simple shift can change the tides, even - a moon phase reference. 

So as I am writing my first entry, I also acknowledge a personal shortcoming.  I have succumbed to the negativity of others, let it breed within and shared the same, unknowingly.   All my beliefs about negative energy suggest that this is the worst possible thing that one can do to themselves.

The reason, I believe negativity is so bad for us is because we are all connected.  If we are connected to energies that are similar; then generating negativity creates more for us.  It's like a magnet!  The more we generate, the more we receive - be it good or bad.  If you want the bad to go away, banish it with self awareness, personal protection and generate some good vibes!  And YES!  IT IS THIS SIMPLE!!!

Moon Beams, Epiphanies Under a Neon Moon is about dancing through our lives using Universal energies to bring about our deepest desires and celebrating our lives as interconnected beings.

Throw out your self-help books and start living your dream today!

As for the negativity?  It's easy.  STOP!  Decide today what your negative situation is and rework it into a positive.   Once you do, all those that have bound to you will release.  If you want to immediately rid yourself of those negative attachments, try my favorite release exercise.


EXERCISE:  Cutting the Ties

Find your zone, alpha-state, relaxing or meditation - which ever seems to suit you best.  

Choose two colors in your head and visualize them.  For simplicity sake, I use red and blue most of the time.

Visualize yourself in a relaxed position, on your back, limbs relaxed and then acknowledge negative attachments to your body.  Ask to have them brought to view with the colors red and blue.  The color red as negative attachments you want permanently removed or severed from your life.  The color blue would be other more important attachments that we will allow to reconnect; loved ones perhaps.

Keeping in mind this is a metaphysical exercise, just because we cannot see it doesn't mean that it isn't real.  Expect changes immediately.  Imagination is so very powerful!  

Visualize a large pair of scissors.  These scissors can be in any image you like, any color.  Instruct your scissors to do the work for you.  They are to cut away all the red threads from your body.  Snip, Snip.  Snip.  You will feel more free and lighter all of the sudden.  Follow up with a statement that the negative attachments are free from your body and are not allowed to reattach.  Wish them well on their journey elsewhere.  Maybe they shape shift into red balloons and float away?  Up to you...

There are still the blue attachments.  For me, I cut them, too.  I don't worry about  who or what, I simply cut those blue threads next so that my body is completely free from all attachments.  Snip.  Snip.  Snip.  The blue acknowledges we do have attachments that are more important to us but we must let go sometimes.

End your exercise by making a statement that only positive influences are allowed to reattach.  Feel your body become more relaxed and weightless.  Know your life has changed for the better.  You will now be able to move forward without being weighted down by others.  Acknowledge you are free from entanglements.  Express your gratitude!  Relax a bit further in appreciation and feel your new freedom.  Really feel the moment and remain in gratitude for as long as you can.

Bring yourself back when you are ready.

Let today be the day you follow your arrow where ever it points....